In America, if your next-door neighbor has a Rolls-Royce, you want one too. But in England, if your neighbor has a Rolls-Royce, you want him to die in a fiery accident. That's a quote from someone else, but there's something about American optimism, that feeling you can do anything if you're at least middle class in America. If I can have a writing career, anyone can. There's nothing special about me.
David SedarisThe way Trump talks about Obama: presidents don't do that! What we're seeing now is a whole new level of vulgarity. I'm really hoping that it's not the rule from here on out. It's really distressing for me to witness this. I really hope we don't have to throw all decency out the window, just because Trump's president.
David SedarisThe word 'phobic' has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insistence that most animosity is based upon fear rather than loathing.
David SedarisI had paid for my folly and, as a reward, was invited to take part in the nest builderโs performance piece. The script was great. โWhen I bleat here, do you want me to just bleat or to really let go and โbleat, bleatโ?โ I asked. โI feel like โbleat, bleating,โ but if Mother/Destroyer is going to be crawling through the birth canal of concertina wire, I donโt want to steal focus, you know what I mean?
David SedarisI wish that I had re-edited 'Theft By Finding' after I did the audio. Because the audio took 40 hours in the studio, and I was standing on my feet. So toward the end of it I'd be looking at certain diary entries and I would think, "Is this really worth my time to read this out loud?" And I would think, "No, it is not." I would have cut out 75 pages, just because I was tired of standing up.
David Sedaris