I wish that I had re-edited 'Theft By Finding' after I did the audio. Because the audio took 40 hours in the studio, and I was standing on my feet. So toward the end of it I'd be looking at certain diary entries and I would think, "Is this really worth my time to read this out loud?" And I would think, "No, it is not." I would have cut out 75 pages, just because I was tired of standing up.
David SedarisThere is still the outside world to contend with. A world of backfiring cars, and their human equivalents.
David SedarisIf finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.
David SedarisBoys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.
David SedarisWatching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertaining, but you can't get beyond the sad fact that this person actually thinks he bringing some joy into your life. Somewhere he had a mother who sifted through a shoe box of mimeographed playbills, pouring herself another drink and wondering when her son would come to his senses and swallow some drain cleaner.
David Sedaris