Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman

I think of myself now as a writer, although I wouldn't go as far as to say 'novelist' because that sounds like a Victorian person.

In actual life I am a grumpy old bag.

I'll always be a fat girl and I am happy with that.

I keep my own personality in a cupboard under the stairs at home so that no one else can see it or nick it.

I haven't really ever had to audition for anything.

I am not, I repeat, NOT a lesbian - even though I'd like to be one when I grow up.