How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

I reserve the right to change my mind. But once I decide on something, I'm going to need a good reason to switch.

There are all kinds of smiles. On the football field I mostly used the one where the hawk spots the dove.

A nation that spends billions to fix international problems will not have much left over for the victims of tornadoes in Oklahoma.

Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, "I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come." And you know, that's exactly what I said about myself and football - What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?

The only thing Native Americans ever did better than the rest of us is spirituality. Of course, that's everything, isn't it?

The problem a guy who lies all the time faces is he never can tell when anybody else is telling the truth.