I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

If you had no enemies, you had no fun.

If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.

I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens.

Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: "I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing."

The filter's the best part. That's where they put the heroin.