When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.

Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate.

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

If you had no enemies, you had no fun.

My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building.

Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.

Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long, suckin' down Ny Quil stingers and cheese. He says, what the hell's Lisa Marie thinking with that Michael Jackson crap?