I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album.

The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.

Everybody's vying for people's attention in terms of eyeballs, earholes, and dollars.

That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.

When you write about real life, there's always a chance that somebody involved is going to see it and get upset.

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?