Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.

When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.

The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.

Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.

If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, "'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie."

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.