I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. "Moo"

I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.

You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

He [ Campbell Scott ] is also a really funny guy which not a lot of people know.

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning.