We drink and we die and continue to drink.

Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family.

I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it.

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album.