There's nothing wrong with an actor that can't improvise, but if you're going to improvise, you gotta make sure you got people that can play the game.

When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except "FX makes the show that I see on my computer." So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.

I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how to make tables and chairs. You have to have the right tools, and you have to know how to put the thing together, right?

Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.