Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.

I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, "Oh, my God. How could he say that."

American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.