A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could come and sit at the table, so don't piss in the finger bowls, all right? Thank you. In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, try to get along with your new stepmotherland, and don't be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.