Why it's been left to me to smooth things over, I don't know. Dennis Rodman, of all people. Keeping us safe is really not my job; it's the black guy's [Obama's] job. But I'll tell you this: If I don't finish in the top three for the next Nobel Peace Prize, something's seriously wrong.

If you're going to have sex, use a condom.

Wilt Chamberlain lied when he said he had 20,000 women.

Music soothes my savage beast. I got a beast in me running wild.

I'm just saying I'm being myself, and people understand that.

I can't begin to describe the amount of crap I've taken for being a lousy free-throw shooter.

I'm trying to find new ways to make this game more attractive.