I'm sorry, I don't know what any of you want, or why guns and knives are being waved around, or why the girl has just been taken hostage, but everyone seems to be acting like having a TALKING SKELETON in the room is perfectly normal. And you, where are your eyes? How can you see? How come the only people with eyes in this room are me and her?
Derek LandyWhat?" she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. "See that?" "What, the snow?" "Beyond that." "More snow?" "Stop looking at the snow.
Derek LandyGet away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.' Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.' 'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.' 'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.' 'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.' Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.' 'Why? If you cry will your mascara run?
Derek LandyCan I ask you a question? You know with vampires and werewolves and goblins and things, is there any mythological creature that doesn't actually exist?" "Of course," he replied. "The unicorn and the leprechaun would be would be the two main ones. The Loch Ness Monster isn't real, either, that's just someone called Bert.
Derek LandyDonโt kill me,โ he sobbed as he lay there. โOh God, please donโt kill me.โ โIf you had let me ๏ฌnish,โ Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, โyou would have heard me say, โCome out, weโre not going to hurt youโ. Idiot.โ โHe probably wouldnโt have said idiot,โ Valkyrie told the sobbing man. โWeโre trying our best to be nice.โ The man blinked through his tears, and looked up. โYouโre... Youโre not going to kill me?โ โNo, weโre not,โ Valkyrie said gently, โso long as you wipe your nose right now.
Derek Landy