This is for the writers. I want to thank all the writers. I especially want to thank my fellow nominees because I worship you guys and I'm learning from you every day.

I've been watching 'American Idol' since its debut season in 2002. Back then, America hadn't yet evolved into a gladiatorial cybernation of bloggers, tweeters, and self-ordained voice coaches.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

The Rolling Stones are so versatile, they're like the band version of that Infinite Dress they sell on QVC.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

Stripping toughened my hide, but exposing myself as a writer has been a lot more brutal.

As a kid, I spent every summer bent over a stack of books, obsessively writing detailed reports on each one.