There's something about a roller coaster that triggers strong feelings, maybe because most of us associate them with childhood. They're inherently cinematic; the very shape of a coaster, all hills and valleys and sickening helices, evokes a human emotional response.

I actually have two children now, and sometimes I wonder if that's it. Because they do make writing and directing more complicated and more difficult, especially now that they're very young.

The one thing I have found about Hollywood is it's a town full of people who believe in themselves, often to a degree where they're what you would call "delusional."

Gas Attendant: "Thata ain't no etch-a-sketch. Thats one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet.

I've been meaning to write about the Rolling Stones, but I am the furthest thing from a hipster rock journalist.

Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.