I write small and weird. Romcoms are not in my skill set.

Let it be said that the makeup artist at '90210' made me look better for the fake red carpet than I've ever looked on an actual red carpet.

I have a lot of screenwriter friends and many of them have had an experience where they aren't even welcome on set during production.

Now '90210' is returning with an all-new cast of slightly more plausible teens. I'll be honest: I wish the old cast was back. Ideally, this spin-off would be an Ice Storm-esque exploration of the West Beverly gang's bleak adult lives.

Even though I am in this weird position of being a semi-recognizable screenwriter, which isn't that common, at the same time, I'm not an actress. I'm pretty isolated.

Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey

The Rolling Stones are so versatile, they're like the band version of that Infinite Dress they sell on QVC.