It's really hard to be an artist and put out records and put your heart out there. It's such a gamble, and you're often spending so much time fighting for something that you really believe in and feeling like it's not really getting anywhere. It definitely can try your patience.

There was a lot of creative energy that I had, that I feel wasn't understood, and I think that whole world for me felt like another family, another place where I could feel heard.

I just think the fact that I was told not to be curious about the dark side, and it was such a religious-heavy upbringing made me interested in goth culture.

I like dark music and I want to wear those goth clothes in school. And I suddenly discovered this whole world of music that I totally loved. The Cure was my favorite band, even though they're not specifically a goth band. I was listening to everything from The Cure to Depeche Mode to Siouxsie and the Banshees and Bauhaus and all of that stuff. It was just this release for me. I was able to channel a lot of my loneliness and my feelings of being misunderstood, and I could go into this world where it was okay to be really eccentric.

I never had that desire to start or join a rock band. Nor did I ever have a desire to see my idols in concert. I would have loved to see The Cure. I didn't understand the whole concept of: you love music, you buy the album, and then you go see them in concert. It felt like something that was so untouchable that I didn't even attempt to try and bring it to any place other than my headphones.

It's really hard to be an artist and put out records and put your heart out there. It's such a gamble, and you're often spending so much time fighting for something that you really believe in and feeling like it's not really getting anywhere. It definitely can try your patience.

I was sort of miserable and depressed. Music was my savior, but it was also the thing that I felt at times was breaking my heart.