Why are sex and violence always linked? I'm afraid they'll blur together in people's minds - sexandviolence - until we can't tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, "The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex."

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.

To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars - and, of course, the planets.

The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that's long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.