In relative youth, we assume we'll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.

Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.

I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests' books.

The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that's long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing - nothing at all or in any way - be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.

I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.