Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.

I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.

You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

Some kind of way, we have to say enough is enough.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

The NAACP is a wonderful organization . . . But do you realize if tomorrow morning we had complete integration, all them cats would be outta work?