We used to get 27, 28 minutes to do a story in, and now they're lucky if they get 18 or 20 minutes. So I don't think they can really do a beginning, a middle, and an end anymore. There's an awful lot of one-line jokes; almost every line is a punchline. It's not the same, but there's still good comedy around.

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

I never made a good movie.

I was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see.

The most important thing for old guys is never start going down the stairs sideways.

In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.