A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

It's great at this stage in my life to still be in the running, that people appreciate you.

I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels and tight skirts, and, boy, she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Momma used to say, "Aw, she's just trash," and I thought, That's what I want to be when I grow up. Trash.

I have been asked to pose for Penthouse on my hundredth birthday. Everybody is going to be sorry.

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

I'll never harden my heart but I've toughened the muscles around it.

Hello God, if we are still on speaking terms, can you help me?