I don't understand people who go to amusement parks. I spend most of my time trying NOT to be nauseous. 'Excuse me, could you strap me in upside down? I'd like to be as sick as humanly possible. I feel great today, I think I'll go down to Funland and snap my neck on the back of a ride. Honey, let's bring the kids, I want to give them a spinal cord injury for Christmas.'

You ever get sick and one of your friends gives you medical advice? And they tell you that they're not a doctor - like you didn't know it?

Nobody needs a cookie. You will never get your lab results back, Well, apparently, Miss Bexim what you need - and I am a doctor, I've never seen this before - some sort of a cookie. You're actually too healthy. You need a cookie.

I don't understand people who go to amusement parks. I spend most of my time trying NOT to be nauseous. 'Excuse me, could you strap me in upside down? I'd like to be as sick as humanly possible. I feel great today, I think I'll go down to Funland and snap my neck on the back of a ride. Honey, let's bring the kids, I want to give them a spinal cord injury for Christmas.'

I think boxing is an incredible sport and I would like to see it really become regulated because I think it could bring back a lot of the past.

I want to be a bloated alcoholic. That's my goal - it is, I'm serious, because there is no other disease that is more fun than alcoholism. I know it has its downside, but I'll tell you, there's no other party disease like alcohol.

I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field.