I am very excited to be the head women's basketball coach at Beloit College, ... This is a great opportunity for me. I am looking forward to putting my stamp on the program. I am confident that I can and will be successful here.

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.