I am very excited to be the head women's basketball coach at Beloit College, ... This is a great opportunity for me. I am looking forward to putting my stamp on the program. I am confident that I can and will be successful here.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.