I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

I am very excited to be the head women's basketball coach at Beloit College, ... This is a great opportunity for me. I am looking forward to putting my stamp on the program. I am confident that I can and will be successful here.

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.