I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.