When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

I do not see why men sheould be so proud insects have the more ancient lineage according to the scientists insects were insects when man was only a burbling whatisit.

A great many people who spend their time mourning over the brevity of life could make it seem longer if they did a little more work.

Old godheads sink in space and drown Their arks like foundered galleons sucked down.

If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.