A great many people who spend their time mourning over the brevity of life could make it seem longer if they did a little more work.

This is another day! Are its eyes blurred with maudlin grief for any wasted past? A thousand thousand failures shall not daunt! Let dust clasp dust, death, death; I am alive!

Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.

There was once a Hindu sage, who sat down on the banks of the Ganges and thought for seventy years about the millennium. Just as he arrived at the solution and was putting it into verse, a mosquito stung him and he forgot it again at once.

It is a cheering thought to think that God is on the side of the best digestion.

Life's too damn funny for me to explain.

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.