Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

I was with George Washington at Valley Forge, sitting around before an attack... gimme a break. That's over 70 years ago already.

I've never had guys sit me down and say this is what you've got to do. It's my personality that makes me one of a kind, and I believe that.

My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.

It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.

What I do is, I make fun of people and I make fun of myself and things around us and exaggerate things. And I'm never mean-spirited. See, the word insult means some guy who's a real unkind human being. But I don't do that, because otherwise I wouldn't be headlining all these years, thank god, and all these people showing up to see me.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.