So many young people think the big sex act is the whole movie, but that's not the case. You need to be able to talk and laugh and cry together.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?

The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.