You know who was on time tonight, which surprised me? Ghostface. Ghostface was early and making calls - what rapper does that?

I have an obsession with books about kids with Asperger's syndrome.

Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

Took the G out yo waffle, all you got left is your ego.

The thing about stand-up was, I was doing all this sketch and YouTube stuff where I was not being censored and I got to do my own thing, and it was really cool.

The thing about stand-up was, not only was I getting to write it without anybody saying I couldn't do it, but I got to perform it. It just kind of became therapy for me. I had just gotten through a break-up and I was talking about it a lot.

Writing is a very strenuous thing - it's like banging your head against a wall. At the end of the day, acting is better, just because nobody ever asked me if I wanted a Pellegrino in the writer's room.