Donald Glover Quotes

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

I would never challenge any rapper to a rap-off. It's weird, I'm not that type of rapper.

When anybody pays you to be creative, you're very lucky.

I feel like... I don't have a wife, I don't have a kids, but... I see rappers and I'm like, I know that's fake. I know how much you make, this is all bullshit. But people are buying into it, and you shouldn't have that power. I'm legit trying to make honest moves so that all of us can grow. I want to make a show where my sister can work on and become a producer because she can't get in, no one's leting her. I want to make things where people can actually grow. A place where people can actually be honest.

Bright lights, they tend to burn out fast. So I shine bright, but I'm scared that it won't last.

I call 'Community' the best day job in the world, because between takes, I get to write music. I get to write sketches. I get to write movies. It's the best job ever.

I try to be me to the utmost.

We had a teacher, named Mr. Brown, and he was writing something on the board once - he was writing something on the board, and he farted. And you would have thought kids had seen the face of God. Kids weren't even laughing; they were just sitting there screaming, just screaming. Kids had to get carted out; kids were screaming. Kids had to get carted out, and they were going to the nurses' office. Kids are crying in the hallway. 'Oh, this is our 9/11.' And it was. It was their 9/11 'cause they never thought anything like that could ever happen.

Black culture is a fight. We want to hold on to what we are, but sometimes the things that we are can be totally negative. You have to think: can't we try something new and not be seen as suspect?

Never kiss in public, but at home I am affectionate.

Most people think I'm Danny Glover's son when they meet me. So when they ask, I say 'No, I'm Crispin Glover's son.' Then we stare at each other for a long time.

It seems the more I try to connect with the world, I am feeling more alone than I ever have felt before

You used to have to beg and be the busboy to do standup. I got on Community because people saw my videos on YouTube, which were free.

I'm trying hard not to use a specific reference, but you'll probably know it's you after the first sentence.

I feel like guys don't think it's cool to use emojis. I'm like, that's so whack. Emojis help so much. They really do give context to something.

I don't even think I'm that good at rapping, but I think what makes a great rapper - what CAN make a great rapper - is someone who wants to be better.

Careers very rarely are a waste of time; jobs usually are.

I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.

You started rapping when you wasn't good at basketball. I started rapping because I needed Adderall.

I think that's what makes a good rapper. Somebody who wants to push themselves and their audience further.

The emotional aspects of a wilderness experience might be compared to a religious experience. It is particularly valuable for those people whose unconscious associations of pain and discomfort in relationships to man render a deity in human form impossible. Christianity is unacceptable to some people because of the use of the human symbol, but some who can't accept Christ can gain a tremendous sense of peace from relating to uncontaminated areas.

Rapper, just puts so much connotation on who you are and what is exposed. Even if a lot of it is out-dated, people still bring a lot to it.

I have an obsession with books about kids with Asperger's syndrome.

Girls who used to tell me I ain't cool enough now text me pics saying you can tear this up!

I'm very impatient, so I was like, 'I want to be able to do whatever I want now.' But even the biggest stars - you look back and they weren't overnight.

Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you doing you.

If you like strange, specific stuff - that's a nerd. Kanye West is a black nerd. He likes strange, specific stuff. If you go up to Kanye West and say, 'Hey, what are your favorite things?' He'll be like, 'Robots and teddy bears.' That's a nerd.

Also, I realized a lot of kids are listening to me. Whether I want to be or not, they're looking up to me.

We're afraid to move on, that's why there's so much nostalgia on the internet... 'cause we don't wanna look forward, that's scary.

Twitter does have an effect on everything - things you put out there, they are out there for good.

I feel like there's a lot of rappers that could out-rap me and I wouldn't want to face any of them.

I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.

The thing about stand-up was, I was doing all this sketch and YouTube stuff where I was not being censored and I got to do my own thing, and it was really cool.

I hope a kid listens to my stuff, I hope there's a change made and at least somebody walks away with: "I'm doing this because I like it." People are going to hate it and that's okay, but I have to do it because my happiness is important too, it's worth it.

I have to say it's better to be an actor, only because people worry about what time you go to sleep and what you dress like. As opposed to a writer, where it's like, "Oh I'm in my New York University sweatshirt and I'm not wearing pants." You're not worried about what you're eating or anything. It's all a part of your process.

You have to be real with yourself. No one is doing that. People are too concerned with making everything look nice and calm and pretty.

I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.

I like horror films and romance films. Films where you're going in being like, 'I'm coming here to be scared or to fall in love.' You have a goal.

What's the point of rap if you can't be yourself, huh?

I hope in general that my music allows somebody to follow what they really like doing.

L.A. is such a different place. I miss New York so much. I almost teared up when I came back and wanted a Guinness and realized I could drink it and take a cab home. I remembered that I could be a functional alcoholic in New York, like I used to be!

When I wanna be a superhero I just wake up.

Kept looking for something to be in with. Follow someone's blueprint. But you have to be on your own.

When you think of the former high school football star, you think 6-foot-2, white, meathead as the model for that kind of character. Since I'm not 6-foot-2 or white, I just thought about what I could bring to it. I thought about Smash Williams from 'Friday Night Lights,' like the cocky quarterback, and played around with that.

The worst is feeling worthless.

One thing my dad once said to me, "You either want to be right, or you want to be happy. To be happy, there's gotta be a conversation."

I'm a big PAX person... just because it's accessible. I feel like between the weed and the wax it's kind of like BetaMax and VHS. You can carry it around, people don't really know what it is, no smell.