The ladies men admire, I've heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light, They'd rather stay at home at night. They do not keep awake 'till three, Nor read erotic poetry. They never sanction the impure, Nor recognize an overture. They shrink from powders and from paints... So far I've had no complaints.

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?