What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.

The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.

Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.

The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.

I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.

Travel, trouble, music, art, a kiss, a frock, a rhyme -- I never said they feed my heart, but still they pass my time.

(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.