All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.

[On Dashiell Hammett:] ... he is so hard-boiled you could roll him on the White House lawn.

Woman wants monogamy; Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun; Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord; Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?

Don't feel bad when I die; I've been dead for a long time.

Anthologists are lazy fellows who like to spend a quiet evening at home raiding good books.