Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.
[To woman bragging about having kept her husband for seven years:] Don't worry, if you keep him long enough, he'll come back in style.
all men are the same age.
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.