Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Scratch an actor and you'll find an actress.

I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.

I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.