I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

[After she and Clare Boothe Luce met in a doorway and the latter said, 'Age before beauty':] Pearls before swine.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Anthologists are lazy fellows who like to spend a quiet evening at home raiding good books.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.