This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back on. I can't imagine how I did it. When I got away from it I couldn't even refer to the place by name. ''Out there,'' I called it.

The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place; it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.

[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.

I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.