I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

The thing is girls will always say you're lying when you say you had sex with them when you're lying about having sex with them.

I'm not trying to recruit anyone. I think minds can be changed, but I also think they don't have to be changed. If someone doesn't want to smoke pot and doesn't think it should be legal, then that's fine, but the numbers that do are going to continue to grow to the point where change will eventually occur.

That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having with each other, but I have to invest in it enough to figure out. I have to make a decision.

Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.

I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.