I used to make love to Green Day's music. But 9 minutes? I'm not Superman.

A friend is someone I complain to about my other friends.

I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.

I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was like, 'That is good to know doggy, but that's not the most important thing about you. You should make a sign that says, 'I make signs.''

[Ryan Reynolds] is my favorite [ on Top Gear] - I think he's the most hilarious actor who just has not been able to catch a break in terms of being known as the most hilarious actor.

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.