I get a message from Stephen Falk saying, "Hey, if I wrote a part for you in You're The Worst, would you do it?" I was like, "Yes!" And then, of course, later I found out it's going to be me playing myself sort of Larry Sanders-style where I'm the total opposite of what people would expect me to be. I was just like, "Okay, what the hell." But it's really funny to portray me as somebody who is pretending to be a stoner just to succeed.

Even if you are 18, my advice to you is: plan for your future.

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.

Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.

You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.

Being on TV and getting everything paid for are the two reasons to do it with us instead of the court of law.

J-Lo finally married into her own music genre. Crappy music.