I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I’ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing.

So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means.

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?

Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water?

They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.

He actually caught himself saying things like "Yippee," as he pranced ridiculously round the house.