The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.

Structural linguistics is a bitterly divided and unhappy profession, and a large number of its practitioners spend many nights drowning their sorrows in Ouisghian Zodahs.

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes

...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.