I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe

My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.

They live in perpetual fear of the time they call "The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief

Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast.

And the most interesting natural structure? A giant, two-thousand-mile-long fish in orbit around Jupiter, according to a reliable report in the Weekly World News. The photograph was very convincing, and I'm only surprised that more-reputable journals like New Scientist, or even just The Sun, haven't followed up with more details. We should be told.

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.