Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.

The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

There was a terribly ghastly silence. There was a terribly ghastly noise. There was a terribly ghastly silence.

Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally un****ed-up personality.

The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.