If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.

What surprises me about humanity is that in the end such a narrow range of plights defines our moral lives.

Please stop putting quotes from Nietzsche at the end of your emails. Five years ago you were laughing your guts out over American Pie 2. What — suddenly you’ve magically turned into Noam Chomsky?

All events became omens; I lost the ability to take anything literally.

SAFETY NET-ISM: The belief that there will always be a financial and emotional safety net to buffer life's hurts. Usually parents.

Below a certain point, if you keep too quiet, people no longer see you as thoughtful or deep; they simply forget you.

A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him. A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out.