Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature.

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.

I have to say, as much I am respectful of people's faith and the idea of it being necessary for them, but when it comes to the Catholic church as an organization I don't have one scintilla of compassion, understanding, anything. I just think they're the most heinous, corrupt, separatingly vile organization that's ever been on the planet.